Do parents know best? 3 experiments that tried to replace moms and dads

June 10, 2026 - 21:02

Plato tried it. A religious cult tried it. Even America tried it. But every attempt to improve on the family ended in disaster.

The idea that parents might not know best is as old as philosophy itself. Plato, in his Republic, argued that children should be raised communally by the state. He believed that removing children from their biological parents would eliminate nepotism and create a unified ruling class. In practice, the idea never got off the ground in ancient Athens. But it resurfaced centuries later in unexpected places.

In the 19th century, the Oneida Community in New York took the concept to an extreme. This religious group believed in "complex marriage" and collective child-rearing. Children lived in a separate building called the Children's House, raised by designated caretakers rather than their own parents. The goal was to break individual attachments and build loyalty to the community. It did not work. Children reported feeling emotionally neglected. The community collapsed in 1881 amid internal scandals.

Then came the American experiment with the "Kibbutz" movement in the mid-20th century. Inspired by socialist ideals, Israeli kibbutzim raised children in communal nurseries. Parents visited for a few hours each day, but the group was the primary caregiver. Studies later showed that while these children grew up independent, many struggled with intimacy and trust. The system was largely abandoned by the 1990s.

The lesson from all three attempts is clear. Families are messy, imperfect, and often frustrating. But every effort to replace them with a supposedly better system has left people feeling hollow. Parents do not always know best. But they are the only ones who have ever come close.