What a divorce coach wishes couples knew before ending a marriage

July 7, 2026 - 07:01

Karen McNenny has spent years guiding couples through the end of their marriages. As a divorce coach and author of a new book on the subject, she sees the same painful patterns play out again and again. Her message is simple but often overlooked: divorce is a tool, not a weapon.

McNenny says many people enter the process with the wrong mindset. They treat it as a battlefield, where winning means hurting the other person. But that approach, she warns, usually backfires. It drains finances, damages children, and leaves everyone emotionally wrecked. Instead, she urges couples to see divorce as a practical solution to an unhappy situation.

One of the biggest mistakes she sees is the refusal to communicate. Even when love is gone, she says, cooperation is still possible. She advises couples to treat the separation like a business deal. Keep emotions in check, focus on what is fair, and avoid using the children as pawns.

Another common error is rushing into legal action without understanding the emotional toll. McNenny encourages people to seek therapy or coaching before filing papers. It helps to clarify what you really want and to prepare for the grief that follows.

she believes a good divorce is one where both people can walk away with their dignity intact. It is not about revenge. It is about closing a chapter and protecting your family and your mental health in the process.